when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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