i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
