just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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