new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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