Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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