I showed him my bush... on skype.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
