I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
