Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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