Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
