i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
