We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
We had to coat check the pizza.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Terrible idea I love it
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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