oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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