She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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