You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
