hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
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