I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
