i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
