My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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