im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
