I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
