So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
