So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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