If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
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