return my video game
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
At least life still wants to fuck me.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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