im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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