If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
So much rum. So many feels.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
