You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
