oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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