did you get engaged???
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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