so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
