its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
