Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
