3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
There r osticjed everywhere
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
