There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
