Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
