Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
