I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
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