I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
