i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
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Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
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Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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