Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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