i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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