I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
