Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize
