i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
