Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I will be naked everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize