You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
