She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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