Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize