Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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