Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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