So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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