i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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