it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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