yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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