I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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